Whether it’s a philosophical question or a romantic sentiment, the concept of love has been
pondered throughout the ages. It is something that everyone experiences in some form or
another, yet it can be incredibly hard to define. What is love, and why do we struggle to find
words for it?
From ancient greek musings to modern psychology, read on to discover what love really means and how we can better understand it.
A client recently asked me –
What is Self-Love?
For people who struggle with this concept, it would imply that they don’t believe that they are
worthy of love, or that they are loveable.
To answer that question, I asked my client this –
How Do You Know When You are Loved?
The following are some of the answers I often get:
“I know I am loved when my partner doesn’t leave me even on my bad days.”
“I am loved when Mummy buys me toys.”
“I know I am loved when my brother would drop everything to come to my rescue whenever I
Here is what my therapist's brain tells me – we are loved when we are accepted for who we are
when we are missed, or when we are a priority. Of course, there is more than this.
How Do You See Yourself in Your Relationships with Others?
Often our relationships with others reflect our relationship with ourselves. If you think you are
not important to your partner, it mirrors how you think you are insignificant in the world –
which is a thin line to tread, given that if we think we are important it might suggest that we are
being egotistical. If you think that you are not good enough at work, it might reflect that your
self-worth is low.
If that is the case,
What Do You Want to Be Loved for?
Do you want to be loved for your muscles? (Joking!)
Admittedly, how we want to be loved is not within our grasp as we cannot possibly force
others to love us the way we want to be loved. However, this is a good question to ask yourself if
you have a tendency to doubt yourself when it comes to your own self-worth and significance to
others and to yourself.
Going back to the million-dollar question – What is love?
Some say it is a verb, it is about what you do to others and yourself. Some say that love is a choice
and a commitment. Some even say that love is a fleeting bunch of brain chemicals. There is really
no answer to this because there are just things that words don’t do justice defining and