Beyond the Label: Transform Your Attachment Style
Intellectualizing your "Anxious" or "Avoidant" style is only the first step. At Staying Sane 101, we provide the clinical tools to move from awareness to secure, lasting connection.
Do These Relationship Patterns Feel Familiar?
The Chase
Feeling a constant need for reassurance and panicking when your partner pulls away.
The Retreat
Feeling suffocated by emotional intimacy and needing to withdraw to regain a sense of control.
The Conflict
Repeating the same arguments over and over, regardless of the topic.
Our Clinical Approach
Moving Toward "Earned Secure" Attachment
Understanding your attachment style isn't about blaming the past; it’s about rewiring your present.
At Staying Sane 101, we provide a specialized framework that goes beyond intellectual awareness. By integrating attachment-focused therapy with evidence-based clinical tools, we help you break repetitive relational cycles and build the internal security needed for healthy, lasting connections.
Key Pillars of Our Approach:
Identify your unique triggers and "protest behaviors."
Regulate the nervous system when you feel emotional "flooding."
Communicate needs effectively without withdrawing or over-pursuing.
Meet Your Attachment Specialists
Our therapists are Licensed SAC Clinical Members trained in helping individuals and couples navigate relational dynamics.
Therapist (Master of Counselling, Member of SAC)
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Nachum draws on decades of high-stakes corporate and leadership experience to help high-performers understand how "leadership strain" and perfectionism often mask deeper attachment insecurities.
Using CBT alongside attachment theory, he helps clients identify the thinking patterns and relational behaviours that keep them stuck in cycles of defensiveness, avoidance, or emotional shutdown. His work is particularly resonant for men who appear capable on the outside but feel disconnected from themselves and the people closest to them. Nachum helps clients move from reactive relating toward something more grounded, secure, and honest.
Lead Therapist (Master of Counselling, Member of SAC)
As founder and clinical supervisor of Staying Sane 101, Hui Wen brings an integrative, attachment-informed approach to her work with individuals and couples.
She helps clients identify the deep-seated relational patterns and unmet emotional needs driving their anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or shutdown — and understand why they react the way they do in relationships.
Drawing from attachment theory, psychological science, and her own lived experience, her work centres on rebuilding a felt sense of internal safety — so clients can move from automatic, fear-driven reactions toward more intentional, connected ways of relating. She speaks English, Malay, Mandarin, and Cantonese.
Therapist (Master of Counselling, Member of SAC)
Jessy's approach to attachment therapy is shaped by a deeply human background — as a midwife, a palliative care worker, and a long-time advocate for women navigating complex life transitions. She works from a relational and person-centred framework, integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) and nervous system regulation to help clients understand how past wounds show up in present relationships.
Her work is especially attuned to women who over-function, suppress their needs, or find themselves repeating relational patterns they can't seem to break. Jessy helps clients move toward genuine self-attunement and more secure ways of connecting. She speaks English and French.
Registered NGH hypnotherapist.
Muxin brings a distinctive lens to attachment work — combining CBT with hypnotherapy to access the subconscious patterns that shape how clients relate to themselves and others.
Growing up in Taiwan, where self-worth is often tied to performance and external approval, she understands firsthand how early environments form the attachment blueprints people carry into adulthood. Her work helps clients who overthink, seek constant validation, or struggle with self-doubt to shift these patterns at a level that willpower alone can't reach. The result is a quieter, more stable inner foundation — from which secure relating becomes possible. She speaks English and Chinese.
Why Clients Trust Us
"Working with Nachum has been a turning point for me. Before our sessions, my thoughts felt like they were constantly spiralling — overthinking every conversation, doubting my decisions, and overthinking is tiring!
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He was able to help me see the patterns in my thinking and gave me clear, structured ways to challenge them without making me feel judged or “broken.”
Simone Wong
"Jessy has a gentle and compassionate way of listening that makes you feel truly seen and understood. At the same time, she has an incredible ability to ask the right questions that help you uncover patterns in your thoughts, emotions, and relationships that you might not have noticed on your own."
Nicole Yang
"Working with Jessy has been one of the most meaningful investments I’ve made in myself. She has a calm, reassuring presence that makes it easier to talk about difficult experiences and emotions.
Jessy helped me recognize patterns in my relationships and understand the deeper needs behind my reactions. Her insights are thoughtful and practical, and she guides you in a way that helps you feel empowered rather than dependent."
Lola
"I started seeing Nachum during a period when I felt so stuck in my life. I was constantly replaying situations in my head, second-guessing myself, and feeling overwhelmed by decisions both at work and in my personal life.
Nachum has the ability to cut through the noise and help you see the bigger pattern behind your thoughts and reactions. He has a very clear and structured way of working that makes complex emotions easier to understand."
Jay
FAQs
Q: Can my attachment style actually change?
A: Yes. Through a process called "Earned Security," consistent therapeutic work can help you move from insecure patterns to a more stable, secure way of relating to others.
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Q: Is this only for couples, or can I come alone?
A: Attachment work is highly effective for individuals. Many clients work on their attachment styles solo to better understand their dynamics with friends, family, or colleagues, and to build the internal security needed for a healthy future relationship.
Q: How is this different from just reading a book about it?
A: While books provide intellectual information, therapy provides clinical integration. We help you identify your specific "protest behaviors" or "withdrawal triggers" in real-time, providing a safe environment to practice new, secure ways of communicating your needs.
Q: What should I expect during my first session?
A: Your initial session is a dedicated clinical intake and assessment. We will explore your relational history, current patterns, and specific goals for connection. This ensures we have a clear roadmap to help you build emotional regulation and secure attachment safely.
Q: How long does a session last?
A: Standard individual sessions last 50 to 60 minutes. Depending on the complexity of the goals we are working toward, some specialized sessions may be scheduled for up to 90 minutes.
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Q: How much does a session cost?
A: Sessions with our lead therapist Tong Hui Wen costs $250/hour for individuals, while sessions with our other therapists cost $200/hour for individuals.
Q: How many sessions will I need?
A: Shifting long-standing relational patterns is a process that varies by individual. Most clients see significant progress in understanding and managing their triggers within 6 to 20 sessions, though the exact duration depends on your personal history and the depth of the patterns being addressed.
Q: Is my information kept confidential?
A: Absolutely. As Licensed SAC Clinical Members, we maintain a strict legal and ethical duty to protect your privacy. All sessions are confidential, and your clinical records are stored on a secure, encrypted platform accessible only to your therapeutic team. You remain in full control of the pace and depth of our work together.
Ready to Secure Your Connections?
Breaking the cycle of reactive relationship patterns starts with a single conversation. Whether you are ready to move toward an "Earned Secure" attachment style or have questions about how our clinical approach can help you feel safer in your skin and your relationships, we are here to provide the expertise you need to thrive.
Take the Next Step Toward Secure Connection
Our approach goes beyond identifying your "style"—we provide the clinical framework to help you communicate your needs, regulate your nervous system, and build lasting intimacy.